Back off, Feelings.

I seriously don't have any time for this, feelings.

Haha, I really hope I can control my own feelings. Yes, tears, that is for you. Can you just hang in there for another 40 days? Don't just come out when you want to, like, seriously, it is not fun at all.

I started my memory book. Around 30 or 40 people already filled it to me, and I can't hold myself not to cry when I see a sweet and heartwarming message from my friends; my second family.

Words can't describe how I feel so blessed to got the chance to meet each one of you in Capital High School, in Charleston, in West Virginia, in the United States of America. My heart hurts every time I remember the fact that I might not be able to have a second meeting with you guys. I love you guys dearly, and--I just can't say Goodbye.

It is hard, it is way too hard for me. 

and I am not ready to leave.

I have no idea when I will be ready to face this fact. 

To be brave enough to say "See you," than "Goodbye,"

I guess, it's gonna be "See you, someday, in some point of our life,"

Countdown Clocks

You just can't help it.

You just can't help it.
Feelings always come without any warning at all. It doesn't care how busy you are--they will still come anyway.
They don't care if you so busy even you can't remember when is the last time you eat.
They don't care even you don't even have any space for them in that small brain.
They don't care even if you already suffer a lot for them.
They don't care even if you simply don't have any time for them.

They don't--freakin'--care.

And it sucks.

One Step Closer.

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” 
― Albert Einstein

So let's understand each other, and build a better world. 

Do you ever think?

Part 2. 

Do you ever think that how you are so different with others?

It is wrong to comparing yourself with others, I know, but don't worry, I am not comparing myself with others to find my weakness--at least not this time.

I compared myself with one of the alumni of my exchange program. I was surprisingly surprised! I'm surprised with the fact that I am really different with this person. I am not calm at all and I am not that well behaved. It doesn't mean that I'm wild or something. It is just me being me. It is just I can't write poem in every post I make in my blog. I just can't being serious in a long period. I just can't being super smart and diligent and has that lot of leadership in mind. I just can't becoming like her.

Do you ever think that you are that different with others and you really can't compare yourself with anyone else? Because you are simply different. For example, my story and my alumni is really different. If it's a play, then mine will has comedy as a genre and hers will has tragedy as a genre. Like, it is seriously different that you can't compare it in any ways. It is just different.

You are different with others. You are born to be special. You are special. 

We are special. 

So we should stop comparing ourselves with others--and make the best special version of ourselves. If my life is a comedy story, then God, please make it so funny that everyone who watch it peed their pants and smiling in the end.

New Year Gift

Another Gift from God! 

Another big achievement in my life! I got selected in one of the Workshops for YES students! The name is Civic Education Workshop! I am so happy that I can't sleep now. Yes, another insomnia time. Ah, why I can still awake is because of the West Virginia water crisis, I might write it on my next post. But, here is the screenshot of the e-mail :')

Thank you, Lord :')

August: The "..for the first time" month.

Thank God I made it until August!

August was pretty rough.

I just came and found some difficulties to get in to school because of the past issues with (now ex-) host mother. I was so shy and culturally shocked. Thankfully I made it. I found new friends, enter a really different school, watch football for the first time, eating mexican food and hawaiian food for the first time, join a methodist church for the first time, watch a country concert for the first time, having fun with American kids for the first time, enter the Capitol building for the first time (woohoo!), and having a Pakistani younger sister for the first time.

August was the month of the "first times", but I am sure, this won't be the last month I will have "the first time" experience. September, hopefully I will have a blast! :)

Marthin Luther King Day

August 28, 2013 is Marthin Luther King Day. I went to visit State Capitol Building of West Virginia in Charleston to celebrate that precious day. I was very excited because this is my first time to visit the State Capitol Building, the building that has a real gold rooftop (that makes me want to touch it by hand).

After taking some photos, I went inside the building and sat down there with another exchange student from Pakistan, Mehak Rathore. Not long after I sat, children from the day care came to the room with their parents. They had their dream written on a banner and they dressed up as what they want to be. When I saw them, suddenly I remembered a part of Marthin Luther King Jr.’s speech,

“I have a dream that one day little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.”

And that dream came true in front of my eyes. When I saw a black little girl sat next to a white little boy, talking and giggling with joy.

The celebration begun, I’m not really paying attention. For me, sitting for hours is not really fun. But suddenly, a black man walked and stood on the podium and he grabbed my attention. His name is Ron English, he’s a Pastor of Metropolitan Baptist Church at Charleston, West Virginia. He gave us the speech of Freedom to Peacefully Co-Exist, which also consist Martin Luther King Jr.’s speech.

“There are kids right in front of us, here. They have a dream. And our job is to make those dreams come true. A dream that there will be a peace in the world—And let us make it happens! Let there be peace in the world and let it starts by me.

Assalamualaikum. Syalom. Peace.”

Assalamualaikum. Syalom. Peace. Those last three words reminded me why I’m here now, why I’m in USA now.

To brings peace. To give a better understanding that nothing is good or bad, it’s just different. And different it’s not bad—It’s diversity.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day.

Let the peace starts from us.

credit

 

Here I am, West Virginia

The Journey Start.

I was 16. Never even dream of being away from my country, Indonesia, for a solid year.

Yeah, surprisingly I joined exchange student-family that as far until now is the biggest achievement in my life.

I am proudly say that I am Youth Exchange Study (YES) - Kennedy - Lugar student to United States of America in 2013 - 2014!

July, 25, 2014, I left my hometown, Yogyakarta to Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia. I left all of my friends, my family, my school, --basically my everything to got to the pre-departure orientation before--just like the name--I arrive at the United States of America.

There are so many things happened in the orientation. Well, this time I face myself as an introvert-cry baby who has a low self-esteem that made it hard to her to made friends because she thinks that she was not as great as everyone else.

Which is stupid. 

But I actually made some good friends too, though. Thankfully I was not that bad. Phew.

So in order to build a better understanding of moslem dominant countries and United States of America which is the most terrorism activity has been targeted, we carry a mission to build a friendly relationship with American Citizens so we can erase the stereotype that not all of the people who come from a Moslem dominant-country is a terrorist and also to share the beautiful culture of INDONESIA! . --I just wrote an one-paragraph sentence, awesome. 

Orientasi Nasional 2013

I am leaving :)

 July 25, 2013

http://afsjogja.org/events/a-very-well-farewell-2/

Thank you for being super sweet guys. 

Thank you AFS-Jogja! Salma, Mira, Ayu, Ghinaa, Ryan! 

Thank you Padmanaba; Padmanaba'69 dan Padmanaba'70, Spa69hetti, Bhayangkara Padmanaba '69, KPK-PSKP, TimSut Pentas Besar Jubah Macan Romeo ∞ Juliet 2013, Sadyapaka XA (l'arc en chiels), MPK Padmanaba 2013/2014 dan guru-guru semuanya :)

Thank you Komisi Remaja GKI Gejayan!

Thank you Mama, Papa, Mas Bintang, Mbak Tessa dan Mbak Lisa  ♥

and the biggest one,

Thankyou Lord! You are AWESOME!